Rule with an Iron Fist!

Sometimes I think that having iron fists would suck, as a kid you'd prob'ly break a lot of things and get bitch-slapped by your parents and angry shopkeepers a lot, you're never taken to your local Hallmark store for instance and the dish-and-glass-ware section of any department store is outa the question as well. Sentimental things could be particularly of danger to the kid with iron fists, say the urn holding granma's ashes, the 9 year old dried up roses your dad gave your mom the valentine's night he knocked her up with you, or the novelty clear glass toilet bowl invented by your uncle. If you break your wrist, or grow a tumor in your ass, forget about MRIs, you're simply shit outa luck there. It gets even worse, in a cold winter night after comming home at 2 in the morning you just can't warm up your hands in your microwave oven, you have to use that piece of shit conventional oven that takes 15 minutes to warm up.

Always thought hiking during stormy weather was a abd idea? Well it's particularly a bad idea if you have iron fists, you're practically begging for lightening hits. And don't try swimming with iron fists either unless your wearing one of those sissy buoyancy belts, fuck that, I personally rather sink! You endure all this crap as an iron fist kid and you make it to adulthood thinking all is gonna be better now. You kiss swimming goodbye and instead pickup tennis and although you have to restring your racket every week you enjoy the 186 mph serves you dish out at your opponents and the bruises it leaves on their bodies, you're at top of your game and feeling great now. Holding hands during first dates in movies is still sketchy but you discover that you can skip the hand-holding altogether and go straight for the leg. Right O! So when you thought life couldn't get any better those bastards terorist attacks fuck things up majorly for you the first time you get holed up and strip searched in your local airport with the guy saying "yeah yeah, iron fists schmiron fists, last week Pinoche and Pot Pol went through here with no problems". Think about it!